You are probably thinking, do I really want to know about bathrooms in Korea? Better to be forewarned, I'd say. I had read about the revolution of bathrooms in Korea before I came. But now I see WHY they were wanting to change their perception of bathrooms. I have seen no evidence of reformation underway, such as a shift in perception to versatile, rest areas as one article encouraged.
Many times, the men and women use the same restroom. And usually there is a pair of flip flops available when you enter the restroom (at homes and restrooms and other locations where you are expected to remove your shoes before entering) so your socks don't get contaminated with urine and/or water (I wrote about how the showers never have shower curtains in a previous post, I believe).
The toilet paper is kept on one huge roll in the middle of the restroom, not in each individual stall. More often than not, you wish you had stashed some tissue in your pocket because either you forget to get it before you enter or the big roll is empty from lack of attention to the room or so many using it to dry their hands (more on this later). I find it strange that I need to know the quantity I will be using prior to doing so. I'm sure this must lead to both times when you feel "stranded", as well as times when you have way more than you need, and regret wasting some. Usually there are signs that request that you put your tissue in a basket, rather than flushing it. I have never seen one that says why. For instance, in California, where I am from, we occasionally have a shortage of water in the summer months and see similar signs on the walls of bathrooms because we are attempting to conserve water by keeping the number of flushes to a minimum. Or I've seen signs that say that the plumbing is sensitive so not flushing and causing an "explosion" is preferable to taking chances. But in Korea you receive no such information to inspire you to cooperate. This is true to Korean style, in my opinion. The general rule, from what I can tell as an outsider, is that communication, especially from those with more power, authority, or information than you, is not to be questioned and you are not told the reasoning behind any decisions made by such people because they are above reproach.
My Irish friend and neighbor, Katherine took a photo of one such sign. I laughed so hard I nearly wet my pants when she showed me the photo. She took the photo because it was so special. And yet we laughed for another reason entirely. We laughed because it was a huge realization for both of us. An understanding of something in the culture that we both had found annoying but we had not been able to put our finger on until that shared moment of laughter. A huge relief that finally we didn't each have to take things so personally. We could see the bigger picture and that it didn't have anything to do with either of us as individuals. Such freedom. And from signs in the bathroom. OK, I'll tell you what the sign said. I hope (but doubt) you will enjoy it as much as we, two foreigners who have been living and working in a strange new land far from home for only about 2 months. It said "Do not flush toilet paper in toilet (and included exclamation marks in unexpected and unpredictable places) It's your fault" Now, I'm chucking all over again. Did you get it? Blame is very popular here. Even before problems happen. So I'm grateful for that sign in the bathroom and that Katherine realized it's significance, even if at an unconscious level, because my it gave me back my innocence.
The women have small urinals (about a quarter of the size of a man's regular wall mounted version) that are embedded in the ground horizontally, over which they squat. Usually there is one stall that has a real, genuine toilet. At the elementary schools where I worked, the cleaning equipment, such as the mop and bucket, were stored in this stall as well, which made it challenging to use with ease and grace.
Most of the women's bathroom stalls are equipped with one of those "mini urinals" in the ground. Every time I see them I am reminded of how insignificant women are in this culture and how it's a mans world. Sometimes I even feel pissed just catching a glimpse of them.
I frequently tell myself that the Korean women probably get used to them since they have been using them their entire lives but that for me, having used "the real thing" my whole life, I will wait for the "real thing" to become available. Sometimes I even pray, while waiting in line, that the one that is available when I am next in the cue will not be one of those small urinals, but a real toilet. At least twice now in three months, there has been no other option and I have had to figure out how to aim well or get wet.
All this ritual stuff with leaving your shoes at the front door means that you need to put your shoes back on when you have to go to the bathroom. I find this a horrible waste of human resources and time. I also lament that I have become so conscious of what the bottom of my shoes encounter as I walk the town that I may never be able to wear shoes indoors after I return to the States.
There is one thing I am very grateful for about Korean bathrooms though. Just so you don't find this post too one sided. That is their availability. Very easy to find, even for me who is so new here. Nearly every big building has one for public usage. My apartment building had one (although this might have been due to the fact that I lived above a singing room).
More about Singing Rooms another time as I have yet to explore these well yet. Although I did read about them, in book on Korea culture, before I came here. There was a whole chapter called "Sing your way to success". That is how popular they are here. Having been awakened in the middle of the night by someone crooning at the top of their lungs on a microphone on more than one occasion, I know it is a phenomenon that occurs most frequently after midnight and I imagine after considerable consumption of alcohol as well.
One more complaint before I leave you to ponder whether braving the bathrooms in Korea is worth the adventure to visit or live here. They very rarely have paper towels in the bathrooms and just as infrequently hot water (only the really upscale places have these two things, as far as I can tell). On the half a dozen times I have been privileged enough to experience a bathroom so well equipped, I have breathed a sigh of relief as well as experienced a huge wave of gratitude run through my body. This gratitude is for having been blessed to be treated well in this regard for so many years and to have a chance to re-experience feeling cared for again before I die.
Koreans usually use toilet paper to dry their hands, as unbelievable as that is! Trust me, I know it's hard to believe but it's true. Also rarely, blow dryers are available for drying your hands. I find this outrageous, especially since it is freaking way below zero outside and that water is way more than just cold and if you have wet hands when you go out in that sort of weather, you can feel really miserable for some time. Or in my case, if you work for an after school program and therefore, the heat is turned off in the building 6 hours before you leave and the windows allow air to blow through them so much that you need to wear your winter wool coat while teaching, your hands might get so cold that you can't even write on the board with a marker. No wonder I couldn't get rid of my cough for over two months!
Oh, and soap. It most frequently is a big blue ball (oval in shape) and stuck on the end of a bent metal pole which is sticking out from the wall. It took me awhile to figure out that it was soap and that you wet your hands and then cup them over it and pull a few times to get it to transfer from the ball on the stick onto your hands. More often than not, though, there is no soap at all. Does all of this information leave you wondering why you would even bother washing your hands after using the bathroom? Well then, we are not too different. Which is why I now more clearly understand the little hand wipes which are customarily offered prior to meals.
Oh, just one more. In the US, we have no smoking signs in bathrooms to protect those who are allergic or offended by second hand smoke. Not in Korea. Smoking is permitted, and common, everywhere. So a trip to the bathroom could result it smelling like a smoker for hours or even days afterwards. But what can you do? When you gotta go, you gotta go!
Wishing you soap, paper towels, toilet paper, and hot water every time you need them,
Terri
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Health Care in Korea
Hello loved ones,
I am learning first hand the Korean health care system as I have been having many health challenges over the last couple of months. Sinusitis, bronchitis, three weeks of diarreah, and a hard fall in the subway, where I was tripped but my intention to catch the train I was running for prevailed, resulting in emotional trauma, sprained thumbs and wrists on both hands, an incomplete fracture in my left wrist, banged up knees, and sore muscles everywhere.
I was amazed when I spent less than 30 minutes waiting for care from a doctor who was located less than a five minute walk from my home. Including a chest x-ray and a consultation, the total cost was 5000 Won (about $3.50, yes that is three dollars and fifty cents). My jaw dropped when they told me the price. A trip to the next floor of the same building to purchase the prescription drugs recommended (six different types of pills, all packaged by breakfast, lunch, or dinner, within small/pocket sized seal-a-meal-type wax paper packets that were clearly labeled (in Korean, of course) for when to take each packet. No hard to open plastic bottles and only five days worth of drugs, not the two plus weeks worth I would have had in the US. And the cost for all of this organization? A mere 8200 Won which is about $5.00! After my fall, I had numerous x-rays to determine whether I had broken anything and even then paid only about $40 and spent only an hour or so having it all done (and this included both someone at the hospital who voluntarily translated for me, as well as a volunteer who followed me around for several hours, carrying my backpack and coat which were too heavy for my injured hands to hold).
I was not as impressed with the effectiveness of the medications as I would have enjoyed. In fact, juggling so many drugs and schedules (the six pills plus cough syrup plus Pepto-Bismol-like packages plus rehydrating fluids at different times of the day) had me overwhelmed so that I stopped using my essential oils for a week or so and things actually got worse over several ways.
I definitely was not impressed with the compassion and understanding shown by me co-workers and boss who, despite doctors orders to stay at home for five days, continued to call me and tell me to come to work and threaten many consequences if I made taking care of myself a priority over the needs of my students and their schools (but that is another story for another day that I cannot even tell today without a great deal of outrage and desire for justice).
Someone told me that the President of Korea had actually suggested that Korea adopt a similar style of healthcare as America. Koreans seem to want anything American-like, even to their own detriment. Not sure yet how that one will turn out but I for one sure hope they do not move that direction-or it will cost them dearly. Just thinking about it stirs in me a huge desire to play Michael Moore's film Sicko for them all. If you haven't seen it yet, it is a tear-jerker as well as a roll-in-the-isle-with-laughter film that I highly recommend checking out.
Despite all my health challenges, I have another situation that is taking even more of my energy these days. I have given 60 days notice to my current employer. Despite the fact that I did this over 30 days ago, she has yet to accept this notification. So I am coping with her daily desperate attempts to trick me into signing another agreement with her, job hunting, and learning about laws, resources, and other networking to support a just outcome for all (at least three teachers who have left her employ over the last several weeks have not been paid what they are due, including myself), including speaking with attorneys, the Korean Ministry of Labor, and my empathy support friends. There is a position that seems like my dream-job so say a prayer for me that I get this job (two out of three necessary interviews have gone extremely well already).
That's all the energy I have for the moment. Next time I hope to write about Korean food. Yum! So stay tuned.
With love from Asia,
Terri
P.S. If you are so moved, I hope you will join me in voting for ideas for change in America, suggesting that the Obama administration incorporate empathy into the US government (see side bar for more info., or email me for even more details of how to do this).
I am learning first hand the Korean health care system as I have been having many health challenges over the last couple of months. Sinusitis, bronchitis, three weeks of diarreah, and a hard fall in the subway, where I was tripped but my intention to catch the train I was running for prevailed, resulting in emotional trauma, sprained thumbs and wrists on both hands, an incomplete fracture in my left wrist, banged up knees, and sore muscles everywhere.
I was amazed when I spent less than 30 minutes waiting for care from a doctor who was located less than a five minute walk from my home. Including a chest x-ray and a consultation, the total cost was 5000 Won (about $3.50, yes that is three dollars and fifty cents). My jaw dropped when they told me the price. A trip to the next floor of the same building to purchase the prescription drugs recommended (six different types of pills, all packaged by breakfast, lunch, or dinner, within small/pocket sized seal-a-meal-type wax paper packets that were clearly labeled (in Korean, of course) for when to take each packet. No hard to open plastic bottles and only five days worth of drugs, not the two plus weeks worth I would have had in the US. And the cost for all of this organization? A mere 8200 Won which is about $5.00! After my fall, I had numerous x-rays to determine whether I had broken anything and even then paid only about $40 and spent only an hour or so having it all done (and this included both someone at the hospital who voluntarily translated for me, as well as a volunteer who followed me around for several hours, carrying my backpack and coat which were too heavy for my injured hands to hold).
I was not as impressed with the effectiveness of the medications as I would have enjoyed. In fact, juggling so many drugs and schedules (the six pills plus cough syrup plus Pepto-Bismol-like packages plus rehydrating fluids at different times of the day) had me overwhelmed so that I stopped using my essential oils for a week or so and things actually got worse over several ways.
I definitely was not impressed with the compassion and understanding shown by me co-workers and boss who, despite doctors orders to stay at home for five days, continued to call me and tell me to come to work and threaten many consequences if I made taking care of myself a priority over the needs of my students and their schools (but that is another story for another day that I cannot even tell today without a great deal of outrage and desire for justice).
Someone told me that the President of Korea had actually suggested that Korea adopt a similar style of healthcare as America. Koreans seem to want anything American-like, even to their own detriment. Not sure yet how that one will turn out but I for one sure hope they do not move that direction-or it will cost them dearly. Just thinking about it stirs in me a huge desire to play Michael Moore's film Sicko for them all. If you haven't seen it yet, it is a tear-jerker as well as a roll-in-the-isle-with-laughter film that I highly recommend checking out.
Despite all my health challenges, I have another situation that is taking even more of my energy these days. I have given 60 days notice to my current employer. Despite the fact that I did this over 30 days ago, she has yet to accept this notification. So I am coping with her daily desperate attempts to trick me into signing another agreement with her, job hunting, and learning about laws, resources, and other networking to support a just outcome for all (at least three teachers who have left her employ over the last several weeks have not been paid what they are due, including myself), including speaking with attorneys, the Korean Ministry of Labor, and my empathy support friends. There is a position that seems like my dream-job so say a prayer for me that I get this job (two out of three necessary interviews have gone extremely well already).
That's all the energy I have for the moment. Next time I hope to write about Korean food. Yum! So stay tuned.
With love from Asia,
Terri
P.S. If you are so moved, I hope you will join me in voting for ideas for change in America, suggesting that the Obama administration incorporate empathy into the US government (see side bar for more info., or email me for even more details of how to do this).
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Snow falling
Korean countryside with gardens of food everywhere. Love the architecture and rooftops! Green houses are everywhere-even in the heart of the city.
More gardens out the car window, along with some views of the landscape. This was a clear day but some days tthe air quality is so poor that you cannot see this view at all. The golden color here is a rice field.
Dinner in Chinatown in Incheon. Lots of red and very festive. But the food is still Korean, even if they call it Chinese!Photo below: The GPS system (which plays Korean TV constantly-a laugh a minute!) on the dash of Mr.Park's car. We watch it on the long rides back and forth to work. Usually either slapstick humor, melodramatic soap-like things, or mundane life things-a child eating noodles and getting them all over his face, or making art (with designs made out of whipped cream) on cappucinos, or who knows, maybe I'm missing the significance since it's all in Korean?
Hello one and all,
I'm looking forward to more snow today. Or so the forecast says. I hear it never accumulates here in Incheon but it is beautiful and magical to watch it fall-especially when you know you won't have to clean it up!
Last night I made it to the Center for Non-Violent Communication in Seoul that I discovered online back in July. It was a process getting there but I'm hoping to be able to attend the Wednesday night English practice group regularly from now on. The woman who started the center, Katherine Singer, is a Korean who has been living near Santa Barbara for 40 years. She returned to Seoul 5 years ago and opened the center. It seems to be thriving and there are offices and teaching spaces for several trainers (none certified yet). She was as thrilled to have me there as I was to be there-a peer. She has not been promoting the center to English speakers since she has had her hands full working with Koreans. She has translated Marshall's book into Korean as well as the Grok card game. She called me a "God-send" and treated me to dinner. I see that I can move towards completing my certification as a trainer with CNVC while here this year, doing Introductions to NVC in English out of her center to support its growth, and support her focus on working with the Koreans.
I volunteered to Co-chair a 12 step conference that will happen on May, 23 in Seoul. I will also be handling the food for the event. So grateful for my experience cooking common meals at FrogSong, which makes menu planning, shopping, and cooking for 100 seem effortless (I will, of course, have lots of volunteers to do the chopping, dish washing, etc.). It feels great to be making a contribution and giving back to this community that has meant so much to me here already and we are having a great time too!
Just this morning I got a new tilt on the book I'm planning on writing-listening to the body. Realized that my time here is already one-sixth of the way gone and I have yet to get started on that project, although I have been studying for the Clinical Aromatherapy exam, which I had decided would be my first priority. I do manage to keep getting distracted with social things though, even here where I haven't known anybody (although I have the beginnings of a few close friendships now).
One of the schools I'm teaching at wants me to teach English to the teachers privately after work. In order to do this, I need permission from my employer though so we shall see. I might as well work since my pay has been cut in half (due to the dollar rising in value here). Would someone explain this to me? How can the dollar rise when the American economy is collapsing? And why does it make the won go down in value so much that Korean businessmen are committing suicide?
I found Adams natural peanut butter (the crunchy version) on Sunday at a grocery store in Seoul where many foreigners shop. Now I believe I will survive my time in Korea. But seriously, I was amazed at how happy I felt as a result of having peanut butter to spread on apples and celery. Ah, life's simple pleasures...
Wishing you all a delightful and cozy Thanksgiving, filled with love and simple pleasures.
With a very grateful heart,
Terri
P.S. I'm posting more photos. These are still from the first outing that I described in an earlier post. Trying to get caught up and figure out this system. Hope to have the photos and the words match in the future. More about Korea, and more photos, soon.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Photos up (see below)
Hello friends!
I was able to get 7 photos to load on this blog (see first and second posts below). BTW, the peace signs from the children were unsolicited. Unfortunately, the other photos I'd like to show you would not load. I'll try again another time but hope you scroll down and find the ones I have posted so far. A picture is worth 1000 words, or so I hear. And I must say, as much as I am enjoying writing this blog, I've been concerned about the number of words and whether or not you will find it overwhelming. I would appreciate your feedback regarding this.
I started work at a new school this week. It's in a new neighborhood and has some amazing views of the fall foliage and colors. My classroom construction will be completed by Monday and I will get a photo to share with you (such a view from my classroom!). I have been teaching the hokey pokey to first and second graders (and singing the alphabet too) and talking about feelings and playing hangman with the fifth and sixth graders (and still need to figure out what to do with the third and fourth graders next week). I get one of three reactions from the children: they either want to connect with me (high five, or hello!, or love notes) or they stare at me, completely frozen until I look back, or they are afraid of me and can't speak at all. I feel like a celebrity when I'm anywhere near the school, but especially in the cafeteria.
I'm excited to not be the only foreigner (there is a 55 year old New Zealand man who has been teaching at this school since March who is a laugh a minute). There will be a new Korean teacher working with me, who will start on Monday and I met the Korean teacher who will replace Lexy on Friday and I think she will be easy to work with. One of the parents is so happy to have me at this new school that she bought me a beautifully decorated huge basket full of large, sweet, and juicy apples (about 25 of them) and I was both dumbfounded and touched by her generosity and love. I feel very welcomed by this new school and look forward to getting settled into a regular routine in a couple of weeks (although it is so far away I will probably need to move again).
I'm thrilled to hear that Obama will be moving into the White House come Jan.! Lexy shared the news with me quite formally and I couldn't believe it at first. I cried for over an hour from relief and celebration. I so longed to be with all of you to celebrate and yet folks here were celebrating as well (although I think only another activist can really understand how I felt). Many Koreans are similar to Americans in their political apathy and distain for politicians but seeing my passion about the voting process (I had many challenges in trying to vote from here and due to the timing ended up doing so via fax machine) were moved to learn more and discuss why I find it so important, which was fun for me and often moved me to tears-I so long for democracies to be run by the people in them! Power to the people!
I'm off to Seoul for the day, to hook up with friends and do some shopping too.
Love,
Terri
P.S. I watched the film zeitgeist last night, finally (www.zeitgeistmovie.com). If you have not seen it yet, I highly recommend it. Perhaps we have already proven that love conquers fear with the election results (although not in the case of Prop 8, unfortunately)?
I was able to get 7 photos to load on this blog (see first and second posts below). BTW, the peace signs from the children were unsolicited. Unfortunately, the other photos I'd like to show you would not load. I'll try again another time but hope you scroll down and find the ones I have posted so far. A picture is worth 1000 words, or so I hear. And I must say, as much as I am enjoying writing this blog, I've been concerned about the number of words and whether or not you will find it overwhelming. I would appreciate your feedback regarding this.
I started work at a new school this week. It's in a new neighborhood and has some amazing views of the fall foliage and colors. My classroom construction will be completed by Monday and I will get a photo to share with you (such a view from my classroom!). I have been teaching the hokey pokey to first and second graders (and singing the alphabet too) and talking about feelings and playing hangman with the fifth and sixth graders (and still need to figure out what to do with the third and fourth graders next week). I get one of three reactions from the children: they either want to connect with me (high five, or hello!, or love notes) or they stare at me, completely frozen until I look back, or they are afraid of me and can't speak at all. I feel like a celebrity when I'm anywhere near the school, but especially in the cafeteria.
I'm excited to not be the only foreigner (there is a 55 year old New Zealand man who has been teaching at this school since March who is a laugh a minute). There will be a new Korean teacher working with me, who will start on Monday and I met the Korean teacher who will replace Lexy on Friday and I think she will be easy to work with. One of the parents is so happy to have me at this new school that she bought me a beautifully decorated huge basket full of large, sweet, and juicy apples (about 25 of them) and I was both dumbfounded and touched by her generosity and love. I feel very welcomed by this new school and look forward to getting settled into a regular routine in a couple of weeks (although it is so far away I will probably need to move again).
I'm thrilled to hear that Obama will be moving into the White House come Jan.! Lexy shared the news with me quite formally and I couldn't believe it at first. I cried for over an hour from relief and celebration. I so longed to be with all of you to celebrate and yet folks here were celebrating as well (although I think only another activist can really understand how I felt). Many Koreans are similar to Americans in their political apathy and distain for politicians but seeing my passion about the voting process (I had many challenges in trying to vote from here and due to the timing ended up doing so via fax machine) were moved to learn more and discuss why I find it so important, which was fun for me and often moved me to tears-I so long for democracies to be run by the people in them! Power to the people!
I'm off to Seoul for the day, to hook up with friends and do some shopping too.
Love,
Terri
P.S. I watched the film zeitgeist last night, finally (www.zeitgeistmovie.com). If you have not seen it yet, I highly recommend it. Perhaps we have already proven that love conquers fear with the election results (although not in the case of Prop 8, unfortunately)?
Monday, November 3, 2008
Transitioning progress
Hello all! Well I have officially made the transition from visitor to resident. Not just in getting my place and making it homey but also in getting a green card, a cell phone, and internet access. I even opened checking and savings accounts this week and got an ATM card. It has been a long 10 days living in my new home and not being in communication with anyone (save for a conversation with my father, step mother, and sister one afternoon from a PC club which I found within the block but is very smokey so I am celebrating having my own connections now). Which is why you have not heard from me all this time. I wrote a couple of posts but have not been able to add them to the blog because I have not had internet. I have no access to email addresses when I’m not on my own computer so forgive me for taking awhile to respond to your emails about the blog being up. It also means that I have not had a chance to solve the technical difficulties with loading my photos to this blog but I hope to get that done before too long as well. Please be patient with me and all of this new technology.
I ran into a woman who lives in my building named Catherine. She is here teaching as well, from Ireland. I delight in her accent and she and I went out to a bar around the corner, called Mad Max’s, to visit and get to know each other. Amazing to me, she had 3 draft beers and I had 3 sprites and we both ate all the popcorn we wanted-all for 4500 Won, which is about 3 dollars. She and I both found it surprising that they serve molded jello (with fruit, in leaded crystal bowls) with their beer here, as well as plates of fresh fruit (and which I have not seen offered in any restaurants). Catherine lives on the eighth floor and her place is much smaller than mine, if you can believe that! She is able to get on somebody else’s WiFi (as I was when I lived at Reah’s). I now believe because she is so much higher up than I am (she's on the eighth floor and I'm on the third). She must sit in the corner by the window on her bed for it to work but since she just got here three or four weeks ago and has not yet gotten her green card (so can’t get internet of her own yet), has generously offered to allow me to come up to her place and use her internet. This was so supportive and yet then the emails I needed were unavailable to me when I went to the PC club (which I try to avoid since so many smoke there I can barely breathe). Having been under the weather with a cold all week, breathing has been harder than usual already. We are going to check out the public singing forum in our building together sometime (I can hear someone crooning, even as I write this). Having heard about her teaching junior high and high school students (and how challenging it is to get them to speak in front of the opposite gender and when they feel so self-conscious), I am grateful to be teaching elementary school instead-who seem to be less self-conscious the younger they are.
Lexy and I were told to have a Halloween party this week. My teaching days were changed from Tuesday and Thursday to Monday and Friday so we did it on Wednesday, a couple of days before Halloween. I bought a pumpkin, roasted the seeds, carved it, and put some candles in it. The kids were very impressed and the two first grade classes gave me thumbs up for it. Lexy and I each bought popcorn, candies, suckers, and chocolate candy bars, etc. and I typed up instructions on How to make a Jack-O-Lantern. I mimed the instructions, step by step. I showed them the sketch I had made of my design for the carving and how I had transferred it to the pumpkin before cutting and they each turned the paper over and drew a design for one they might make. Lexy found a bag full of Halloween decorations and we closed off the classroom next to the one we usually use and turned it into a Haunted House, with the traditional Korean seating on the floor with low tables. We even had a CD with Halloween sound effects and played that in the background. Lexy took each of the six classes into the scary room and then beckoned me in, draped with black cape-like fabric and a “The Scream” mask, and glow in the dark long fingernails. The kids screamed with delight as I pursued them with my long fingernails, then offered them my mask and other costume pieces to try for themselves. They got plenty of sugar that day. I’m not sure how much English they learned but I do hope they saw that school can be fun and not always so much work. Although Lexy and I were both much more tired than usual since we were both sick with colds and sneezing and blowing repeatedly throughout the day, which takes much energy, as does cleaning up after 43 children, all of whom are less than 14 years old. Many of these children have already been to a different school before they come to our after school program and they are often exhausted. They have stuff going on at home too-one fifth grade student’s mother died this week, another’s grandmother is in the hospital, etc. Lexy and I have each had talks with one of the other fifth grade girls to keep her hand out of her pants during our class (which happened every couple of minutes, before we told her that behavior is off limits in our class-a conversation I could not have with her in Non-Violent Communication because even regular English she does not understand-but I think I was clear with my eye and hand gestures). Korean children are not told to be quite and that is something I have heard other English teachers say they have had to teach them because it has not occurred as a possibility to the Korean teachers they work with. Hearing some of the English teachers advocate corporal punishment and it’s efficacy is painful for me and I would like to share NVC with them but have not found the extra energy necessary to do so yet.
It’s great to be able to go out and walk around anytime of the day or night and not have to worry about whether or not I’m safe. I’m also enjoying the ease and freedom of taking the subway and not having to worry about my possessions disappearing or of being attacked. The subway rivals anything that New York City has but is much newer, cleaner, and less expensive too. From the sound of things, apparently a woman is safe anywhere in Korea except in her home (yes, domestic violence is world-wide).
I went to Seoul via subway for the first time last Sunday and found a couple of meetings there as well as about 30 new friends, most of whom are English teachers and many of whom are Americans. One guy is even from San Francisco and regularly went to Radiant Light Ministries 10 years after I did. We all went out between meetings to Itewon, the district in Seoul with the most foreigners and the most diversity of foods and had pitas/falafals. They were a wealth of resources and I plan on making this trip to Seoul on a weekly basis to get the spiritual support, community, and socializing I need.
Lexy gave notice at work last week, her last day will 11/15. She has invited me to join her for a weekend in Busan. Busan is where most Koreans go for vacations, sort of a resort I think (with beaches?). I know it’s south of here quite a bit and I will take the super fast train for the first time to get there-looking forward to seeing the countryside. Her birthday is 11/13 so we will celebrate with dinner at her favorite restaurant (Outback steak house, which I hear is expensive) and then take the trip a week later too. She is only 26 but the job is too stressful for her and her health has suffered as a result. I will miss her as we have gotten very close and are a good team. We have similar views of compassion towards the children and I hope the next teacher will as well.
I learned yesterday, when we went to get internet, that I put the wrong address on my voters registration and Young Living autoship order so I spent most of the day trying to get these things sorted out. Looks like I will be able to vote by fax and I will receive the products I’ve been anticipating for a couple of months now. Yippee! I only knew my address from the piece of mail that was in my box (I figured if it got here it must be right) but since these are the first two things I will receive here and the building name was wrong that was not going to work. Korean addresses do not have street numbers and names usually but rather building names and floor or room numbers.
I learned today that my work schedule will change for the sixth time. Starting on Monday, I will be working at a new school in the mornings (Reah will pick me up and drive me across town and then somehow I will get to the school with Lexy and have lunch and prepare for the day before classes start at 1:00 pm., at least for the next two weeks. Who knows what will happen after that. I did develop a curriculum for tutoring Eric, Reah’s 12 year old son. I submitted it today for approval and she thinks it looks good (even though I’ve never done anything like this before). I’m dubious about whether she can understand it even as she has not practiced English for 10 years now and her skills have disappeared. Choosing the books from the office’s library and having him read a page or two for me (to assess his reading level) was a process: one that my weekly reading with Ian (my 12 year old next door neighbor at FrogSong) supported me with. My intention is to make tutoring fun for Eric but I can tell by the way he is less interested in spending time with me, since he learned I will be tutoring him, that shifting the focus might be challenging. He already goes to two schools so this is more on top of all of his class work and homework too. The pressure is on to get him into a college in America even though he is only in fifth grade, and even though he is at the genius level in his favored subjects of chemistry and mathematics. I have compassion for him and want him to have a childhood so am determined to make the tutoring fun for him, even though I’m sure it will take a ton of energy and creativity to do so.
The solar dryer seems to work ok and the take off your shoes area has become functional since I realized it has mirrored doors on the shelves. The bathroom is more functional since I got the squeegee but I have yet to find a store that sells the adapter I need to hook up my Multi-Pure water filter in there. I’m using my Bemer a couple of times everyday and so grateful to have it here, and the massage table it rests on, which makes this place so much more functional than it would be without it.
I learned this week that the vacation times I had hoped to take, to celebrate my birthday and do a residential Ortho-Bionomy training, are impossible. I’m disappointed about that but want to see if there is something else I can get excited about that is happening on the two weeks that I will be taking off (last week in Jan and last week in July, I believe, in case you have suggestions). I need to have something to look forward to so having plans for those two weeks will support sanity.
Today I began studying for my Clinical Aromatherapy exam, at last. So much change has been happening that I have not had the ability to focus since I got my corrected homework back, to use to study for the final. I’m happy to have more focus and something to do that feels like an efficient use of my time and a way to make some progress.
Looking forward to hearing some news and weather from Sonoma County once I get my internet hooked up. Hoping that will help me feel more connected with all of you from afar.
I spoke with Kat today. She says the funds for California to purchase my car have been released so that is a huge relief and celebration. You will be able to purchase my book soon, which I am told has shipped to Australia and New Zealand but not to the US or Canada yet. I’m celebrating being a published author and cannot wait to have the book in my hands! Will, of course, let you all know when the website is ready and you can purchase online-more urgent needs for internet access. Trusting and in awe of the timing-how me getting internet (to be able to set up the website) has coincided with the book becoming available, even though both are happening at least a month later than I had hoped.
Had an interesting conversation on the subway tonight with a man who lived in Paraguay for six years. We spoke Spanish though, not English. It felt great to be able to communicate with someone. I am aware of being disabled with not being able to read Korean, or speak it, of course. Everything in the stores and restaurants is in Korean, and everything on the computer even. Things that I have taken for granted are no longer easy. For instance, I got my first utility bill. It had data from the last year and lots of analysis of costs and I could not read most of it-took me an hour to figure out what I needed to pay, which turned out to be about $10 for 2 weeks (but I did notice that October has the lowest cost of any month all year, probably due to the temperate weather). I’m relieved to know that I won’t have many of those extravagant utility bills I thought might happen.
I’m thrilled to have the movie theatre so close to home but am beginning to see that even though there are movies nearly anytime of the day or night, it’s rare for them to be in English. Perhaps I will learn more about the Korean language and culture if I watch films in Korean.
Wishing you all a very Happy Halloween and an abundant harvest time,
Terri
P.S. Hoping you get out and vote on Tuesday!
I ran into a woman who lives in my building named Catherine. She is here teaching as well, from Ireland. I delight in her accent and she and I went out to a bar around the corner, called Mad Max’s, to visit and get to know each other. Amazing to me, she had 3 draft beers and I had 3 sprites and we both ate all the popcorn we wanted-all for 4500 Won, which is about 3 dollars. She and I both found it surprising that they serve molded jello (with fruit, in leaded crystal bowls) with their beer here, as well as plates of fresh fruit (and which I have not seen offered in any restaurants). Catherine lives on the eighth floor and her place is much smaller than mine, if you can believe that! She is able to get on somebody else’s WiFi (as I was when I lived at Reah’s). I now believe because she is so much higher up than I am (she's on the eighth floor and I'm on the third). She must sit in the corner by the window on her bed for it to work but since she just got here three or four weeks ago and has not yet gotten her green card (so can’t get internet of her own yet), has generously offered to allow me to come up to her place and use her internet. This was so supportive and yet then the emails I needed were unavailable to me when I went to the PC club (which I try to avoid since so many smoke there I can barely breathe). Having been under the weather with a cold all week, breathing has been harder than usual already. We are going to check out the public singing forum in our building together sometime (I can hear someone crooning, even as I write this). Having heard about her teaching junior high and high school students (and how challenging it is to get them to speak in front of the opposite gender and when they feel so self-conscious), I am grateful to be teaching elementary school instead-who seem to be less self-conscious the younger they are.
Lexy and I were told to have a Halloween party this week. My teaching days were changed from Tuesday and Thursday to Monday and Friday so we did it on Wednesday, a couple of days before Halloween. I bought a pumpkin, roasted the seeds, carved it, and put some candles in it. The kids were very impressed and the two first grade classes gave me thumbs up for it. Lexy and I each bought popcorn, candies, suckers, and chocolate candy bars, etc. and I typed up instructions on How to make a Jack-O-Lantern. I mimed the instructions, step by step. I showed them the sketch I had made of my design for the carving and how I had transferred it to the pumpkin before cutting and they each turned the paper over and drew a design for one they might make. Lexy found a bag full of Halloween decorations and we closed off the classroom next to the one we usually use and turned it into a Haunted House, with the traditional Korean seating on the floor with low tables. We even had a CD with Halloween sound effects and played that in the background. Lexy took each of the six classes into the scary room and then beckoned me in, draped with black cape-like fabric and a “The Scream” mask, and glow in the dark long fingernails. The kids screamed with delight as I pursued them with my long fingernails, then offered them my mask and other costume pieces to try for themselves. They got plenty of sugar that day. I’m not sure how much English they learned but I do hope they saw that school can be fun and not always so much work. Although Lexy and I were both much more tired than usual since we were both sick with colds and sneezing and blowing repeatedly throughout the day, which takes much energy, as does cleaning up after 43 children, all of whom are less than 14 years old. Many of these children have already been to a different school before they come to our after school program and they are often exhausted. They have stuff going on at home too-one fifth grade student’s mother died this week, another’s grandmother is in the hospital, etc. Lexy and I have each had talks with one of the other fifth grade girls to keep her hand out of her pants during our class (which happened every couple of minutes, before we told her that behavior is off limits in our class-a conversation I could not have with her in Non-Violent Communication because even regular English she does not understand-but I think I was clear with my eye and hand gestures). Korean children are not told to be quite and that is something I have heard other English teachers say they have had to teach them because it has not occurred as a possibility to the Korean teachers they work with. Hearing some of the English teachers advocate corporal punishment and it’s efficacy is painful for me and I would like to share NVC with them but have not found the extra energy necessary to do so yet.
It’s great to be able to go out and walk around anytime of the day or night and not have to worry about whether or not I’m safe. I’m also enjoying the ease and freedom of taking the subway and not having to worry about my possessions disappearing or of being attacked. The subway rivals anything that New York City has but is much newer, cleaner, and less expensive too. From the sound of things, apparently a woman is safe anywhere in Korea except in her home (yes, domestic violence is world-wide).
I went to Seoul via subway for the first time last Sunday and found a couple of meetings there as well as about 30 new friends, most of whom are English teachers and many of whom are Americans. One guy is even from San Francisco and regularly went to Radiant Light Ministries 10 years after I did. We all went out between meetings to Itewon, the district in Seoul with the most foreigners and the most diversity of foods and had pitas/falafals. They were a wealth of resources and I plan on making this trip to Seoul on a weekly basis to get the spiritual support, community, and socializing I need.
Lexy gave notice at work last week, her last day will 11/15. She has invited me to join her for a weekend in Busan. Busan is where most Koreans go for vacations, sort of a resort I think (with beaches?). I know it’s south of here quite a bit and I will take the super fast train for the first time to get there-looking forward to seeing the countryside. Her birthday is 11/13 so we will celebrate with dinner at her favorite restaurant (Outback steak house, which I hear is expensive) and then take the trip a week later too. She is only 26 but the job is too stressful for her and her health has suffered as a result. I will miss her as we have gotten very close and are a good team. We have similar views of compassion towards the children and I hope the next teacher will as well.
I learned yesterday, when we went to get internet, that I put the wrong address on my voters registration and Young Living autoship order so I spent most of the day trying to get these things sorted out. Looks like I will be able to vote by fax and I will receive the products I’ve been anticipating for a couple of months now. Yippee! I only knew my address from the piece of mail that was in my box (I figured if it got here it must be right) but since these are the first two things I will receive here and the building name was wrong that was not going to work. Korean addresses do not have street numbers and names usually but rather building names and floor or room numbers.
I learned today that my work schedule will change for the sixth time. Starting on Monday, I will be working at a new school in the mornings (Reah will pick me up and drive me across town and then somehow I will get to the school with Lexy and have lunch and prepare for the day before classes start at 1:00 pm., at least for the next two weeks. Who knows what will happen after that. I did develop a curriculum for tutoring Eric, Reah’s 12 year old son. I submitted it today for approval and she thinks it looks good (even though I’ve never done anything like this before). I’m dubious about whether she can understand it even as she has not practiced English for 10 years now and her skills have disappeared. Choosing the books from the office’s library and having him read a page or two for me (to assess his reading level) was a process: one that my weekly reading with Ian (my 12 year old next door neighbor at FrogSong) supported me with. My intention is to make tutoring fun for Eric but I can tell by the way he is less interested in spending time with me, since he learned I will be tutoring him, that shifting the focus might be challenging. He already goes to two schools so this is more on top of all of his class work and homework too. The pressure is on to get him into a college in America even though he is only in fifth grade, and even though he is at the genius level in his favored subjects of chemistry and mathematics. I have compassion for him and want him to have a childhood so am determined to make the tutoring fun for him, even though I’m sure it will take a ton of energy and creativity to do so.
The solar dryer seems to work ok and the take off your shoes area has become functional since I realized it has mirrored doors on the shelves. The bathroom is more functional since I got the squeegee but I have yet to find a store that sells the adapter I need to hook up my Multi-Pure water filter in there. I’m using my Bemer a couple of times everyday and so grateful to have it here, and the massage table it rests on, which makes this place so much more functional than it would be without it.
I learned this week that the vacation times I had hoped to take, to celebrate my birthday and do a residential Ortho-Bionomy training, are impossible. I’m disappointed about that but want to see if there is something else I can get excited about that is happening on the two weeks that I will be taking off (last week in Jan and last week in July, I believe, in case you have suggestions). I need to have something to look forward to so having plans for those two weeks will support sanity.
Today I began studying for my Clinical Aromatherapy exam, at last. So much change has been happening that I have not had the ability to focus since I got my corrected homework back, to use to study for the final. I’m happy to have more focus and something to do that feels like an efficient use of my time and a way to make some progress.
Looking forward to hearing some news and weather from Sonoma County once I get my internet hooked up. Hoping that will help me feel more connected with all of you from afar.
I spoke with Kat today. She says the funds for California to purchase my car have been released so that is a huge relief and celebration. You will be able to purchase my book soon, which I am told has shipped to Australia and New Zealand but not to the US or Canada yet. I’m celebrating being a published author and cannot wait to have the book in my hands! Will, of course, let you all know when the website is ready and you can purchase online-more urgent needs for internet access. Trusting and in awe of the timing-how me getting internet (to be able to set up the website) has coincided with the book becoming available, even though both are happening at least a month later than I had hoped.
Had an interesting conversation on the subway tonight with a man who lived in Paraguay for six years. We spoke Spanish though, not English. It felt great to be able to communicate with someone. I am aware of being disabled with not being able to read Korean, or speak it, of course. Everything in the stores and restaurants is in Korean, and everything on the computer even. Things that I have taken for granted are no longer easy. For instance, I got my first utility bill. It had data from the last year and lots of analysis of costs and I could not read most of it-took me an hour to figure out what I needed to pay, which turned out to be about $10 for 2 weeks (but I did notice that October has the lowest cost of any month all year, probably due to the temperate weather). I’m relieved to know that I won’t have many of those extravagant utility bills I thought might happen.
I’m thrilled to have the movie theatre so close to home but am beginning to see that even though there are movies nearly anytime of the day or night, it’s rare for them to be in English. Perhaps I will learn more about the Korean language and culture if I watch films in Korean.
Wishing you all a very Happy Halloween and an abundant harvest time,
Terri
P.S. Hoping you get out and vote on Tuesday!
A place of my own
***Blog post drafted. 10/17/08
Well it took 10 days but I have moved into a place of my own! I had heard that places here are smaller than in America but this is extreme. The total size of my space is 6 X 18 feet. That includes the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedroom, and closets, etc. There is one section that is only the width of a doorway and is 6 feet long (between the kitchen and the bathroom), which is just inside the door. Once you get past that “hallway”, there is a space that is 6 X 12 feet, where I have my bed, my desk, and now my massage table. I have put the massage table to good use and put my Bemer on it and my suitcases are open under it, substituting for laundry baskets and separating out my different loads. There is a washing machine to do my laundry with but no dryer so I will get a folding solar dryer and put it on top of the massage table or perhaps in front of the only window, which is the size of a double, sliding glass door but only opens where there is a window that is a foot wide and two foot tall. I’m not interested in opening the window since there is so much dust and smoke (both of which I’m allergic to) outside it, due to construction in the neighborhood and someone downstairs who smokes. I imagine that laundry will be a continuous process since it could take a few days for my jeans to dry in this humidity (which is a challenge for my hair too!).
The kitchen consists of a fridge with a freezer below it (stacking). The stove top is one of those electrical ones with the black flat surface that has a couple of burners internal to it. There is a one square foot, stainless steel sink next to the stove and the washing machine is under the stove, where you would expect an oven (which I do not have). There is one cabinet for storing food and the other will have to store dish drainer and dishes since there is no counter top space to speak of. There are no drawers but there are a few hooks on the wall for potholders and/or dishtowels.
The bathroom consists of the smallest sink I have ever seen and a hand held sprayer hanging on the wall above it. There is a toilet which has very little water and pressure so I was told to use the sprayer to help things go down if they have troubles when I flush, which is not a problem since the whole bathroom is only 3 X 3 and the sprayer has a two foot long handle/tube from the sink. The door to the bathroom is glass and there is a 6 inch square drain that the water is supposed to go down after showering. It is tricky to take a shower and not get everything wet in there and to not track up the whole place afterward too. Will get a bathmat for that and maybe even a squeegee so the floor gets dry after my showers. The whole thing requires some changes in my routine since the only mirrors are in the bathroom and getting close to them after a shower won’t be possible. Using the mirror requires stooping a foot or so since it is mounted for someone much shorter than me.
I had brought along my Multi Pure water filter to make life easier and since good water is one of the things that makes me feel most prosperous. I can’t hook it up in the kitchen since the faucet has a sprayer on it. I’m hoping to find an adapter for the bathroom sink so that I can hook it up to the faucet where I wash my hands (all four adapters I have from America do not fit it) so I can use it and not have to schlep water jugs around. Not sure about drinking the tap water but I’d rather err on the safe side of that question and not end up with parasites.
There is an air conditioner and the heat is radiant floor heating like we had at Frog Song, except the floors are all marble tiles. The heat can only come on from 11 pm till 9 am so I will learn how to regulate it and imagine it will be toasty this winter. I turned on the AC last night and the place went from being hot to cold in less than 15 minutes, which I am appreciating. Hope to keep the utility bills low but the weather is extreme in both the summer and winter months, which each last a few months. I hear that winter is the only season that is not humid, which is the only thing that gives me hope that my laundry will get dry without a dryer in the winter. It is fall here now and the weather is very similar to that in the Bay Area, except much more humid which makes it seem warmer. I have had several folks ask me if I am cold since I am wearing short sleeves and they are wearing long sleeves, even sweaters, but I think I’m adjusting to the humidity.
The entryway. It’s a Korean thing. It has a motion detector light that comes on when you enter (which I triggered when I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, which I didn’t enjoy, since it stayed on well after I went back in bed and was trying to go back to sleep). This area, which is about 2 square feet and has shelves with doors for storing shoes, umbrellas, and other things you might forget as you head off for the day, is specifically for taking off and putting on shoes. Korean’s do not wear shoes in their homes or while at work. You are offered slippers whenever they expect you to remove your shoes so you do know when to do this. My feet are in pain constantly now because I need my orthodicts to be pain free in both my feet and lower back (which has been feeling twinges too) and have not had indoor shoes to wear that can hold them. I’ve been doing my Bemer several times everyday to get over this but need to try and find some shoes that I can wear indoors, especially while teaching (and standing most of the day).
Last night Reah introduced me to Matt, who will take me on the subway and show me how to get back and forth to school from my new home. He took one look at the bike I had bought and we walked over to the bike store to see if I could exchange it. They were open to it, since it meant that I would spend another $60 dollars. So now I have a bike that is much smaller and lighter (Matt says it is a beautiful bike and he is a bike aficionado). Apparently the other one was too large to bring on the subway, which I hear is very crowded. This one looks like a children’s bike, but it’s not. It folds like the other one and we will go to another store and get a headlight and a basket to add to it to make it more functional. We went out to dinner afterwards with Mr. Park and 6 other men who are all teachers at the junior high and high school levels through the program that hired me. More eating while sitting on the floor, which is challenging with my long legs and I make a mess everywhere since my mouth is so far away from the food. They are all planning a bike ride for several hundred students. I hope to participate but want to learn more about it (Matt did a bike ride across Japan, from one coast to the other so he is in great shape), mostly how long it is. Having quit my gym membership when I thought I was leaving (now more than two months ago), I have not had much exercise and feel out of shape. Will need some exercise before I can do a long bike ride. Dinner with 8 men and me-all my age except for a one or two and they pointed out to me the ones that are single (not the first time that has happened). Not sure why, maybe it is like Fiji where it is not ok for a woman to be single at my age?
Matt was clearly in pain in his lower back, and as we walked my bike back to the store, it aggravated his injury. Over dinner I offered to help him heal it. He would not come to my place without his friend joining us (he said he is “weak”, though married). These gender dynamics fascinate me and yet his assumption seemed to be that I would not have had any say in what would have transpired between us. When the three of us arrived at my place Matt ran to buy a gift, since it is Korean custom to bring a gift the first time you enter someone’s home, as an offering/omen (or something) of prosperity. His friend, who I liked very much, and whose English was better than Matt’s, told me his mane and said that I should call him Mr. (can’t recall). This shocked me so much that I forgot his name and his later comment to me really stung. When I asked him if it was a problem for him to come into my place without his friend (who was buying the gift), since he was single, he said I was old enough to be his mother so it was not an issue. He is not a young man so this got me calculating and yes, I guess I am old enough to have a son that might be 30 years old-yikes!-how did that happen?! So there you have it, women required to call men Mr…, even when the woman is old enough to be that man’s mother. Guess that means that gender trumps age (although everything in Korean language and culture requires that younger folks show respect to elders) in terms of respect and power. The implications of this in relationships between men and women have yet to be revealed but I have seen surprising things that I may write about later.
Matt returned a few minutes later with a triple box of Kleenex tissues, which came in handy even for the facte cradle we used when I did a release for his sacrum. It was great fuel for my book, listening to the body, to hear their reactions of what I was doing and which stimulated much discussion in Korean between the two men about western and eastern medicine and chi etc. Most of this was not translated. Koreans seem to not have any need to include foreigners in their discussions and carry on lengthy conversations while we wait for a change in subject or pause in conversation to be able to speak at all. In America this would be considered very rude to not translate what is being said and include the foreigner. All these differences fascinate me (and some infuriate me too!).
Now that I have an address in Korea, I can send off my voter’s registration. I faxed it last night but will need to wait till Monday to mail it as I do not know how much postage it needs from here and the Postal Service is not open on weekends. I have been stressing over this. Feeling pressure to vote in this election and concerned about not having time to get my absentee ballot from America, and send it back, by the 11/4 deadline. I told Reah about this and how important it was to me to vote in this upcoming election and how I needed an address in order to do so but she replied, “don’t push me!”
Now that I have my own place, I do not have Internet access. Apparently, this area cannot have WiFi but where I was staying before can. So I will attempt to find a place to send and receive emails and get online over the next 10 days but there are no Internet cafes nearby. Matt said he could help me with getting my Internet connection set up. I have been told that I cannot get internet until I have a green card. Reah took me to the immigration office yesterday and I thought we would get my green card then but they said that I would need to wait another week to ten days. Not so bad except that they took my passport in the process, which means I cannot do banking etc. I got upset about this. I have wanted to go to the bank for 10 days and she has been so busy that it has not happened. So there I was, without any money and learning I would need to wait another 10 days to go to the bank. Being out on my own now, I will need to be buying all my own food so being without cash mow means I go hungry. I am exasperated at the lack of communication and how much stress this lack of communication generates and how easily it could be avoided. I’m so longing for ease, inclusion, and choice and grieving that I have not had it for what seems like eternity already but has only been 10 days. Reah and I exchanged 100 dollars for 100 won until I am able to go to the bank so we worked it out but it was unduly stressful.
Staying with others has insulated me and I have had nearly zero culture shock so far. But as I ventured out on my own yesterday for the first time, I could feel it setting in. Several good cries were needed and having a place of my own allowed me to do so and let off some stress. I’m also very grateful that I brought my jackal puppet with me, who provided great companionship and empathy to me during these cries.
A walk around the neighborhood last night went a very long way towards meeting needs for freedom, choice, and adventure too, which have not been met at all until now. I found several things that I’m actually excited about, including a couple of places within a block that I’m hopeful might have internet (or at least computers I can use) and a movie theatre which has show times from 10 am till midnight on weekends (and a Popeyes fried chicken, in case I get homesick), and a farmer who sets up outside the school office which is only three blocks from here and has a wide variety of fresh fruits and veggies which I am longing for after having eaten so much cooked food the last two weeks. I hope the internet places have environments conducive to making phone calls using Skype because I need to be talking with some of you-Rachel, my empathy buddy especially. I have gone days without speaking with an adult and am needing that connection desperately (although having my first guests in my home last night helped quite a bit, the depth of connection I desire is hard to find when the other person doesn’t speak English well).
I love the way Koreans lock their doors. No keys. This means you don’t have to dig around in your purse to find keys, or worry about losing them, or keep track of them when you are out in the world, or juggle things when your hands are full trying to get in the door. The doors all have keypads with numbers so you just type in your number and it beeps to tell you if you did it right and whether the door is locked or not, both when coming and going. I found this liberating when I went out last night for the first time. It was 11:30 pm by the time I got home and the streets were full of people eating, drinking, and having a good time in general. One of the first things I noticed when I arrived here is how older women were out walking alone after 10 pm. Not a problem here. Parks full of folks shooting hoops and/or visiting on benches with each other, even late at night. My home is only half a block away from the basketball hoops and park so I hope to get a ball and play sometime.
Reah gave me a few bowls, another set of silverware, and a small glass last night that one of the other teachers left behind. Today I hope to find many other things that will turn my new place into a functional home and buy some groceries for the first time. This is the first day I can do whatever I want and I am looking forward to going with the flow and getting some of my needs met.
Much love and hugs from afar,
Terri
Well it took 10 days but I have moved into a place of my own! I had heard that places here are smaller than in America but this is extreme. The total size of my space is 6 X 18 feet. That includes the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedroom, and closets, etc. There is one section that is only the width of a doorway and is 6 feet long (between the kitchen and the bathroom), which is just inside the door. Once you get past that “hallway”, there is a space that is 6 X 12 feet, where I have my bed, my desk, and now my massage table. I have put the massage table to good use and put my Bemer on it and my suitcases are open under it, substituting for laundry baskets and separating out my different loads. There is a washing machine to do my laundry with but no dryer so I will get a folding solar dryer and put it on top of the massage table or perhaps in front of the only window, which is the size of a double, sliding glass door but only opens where there is a window that is a foot wide and two foot tall. I’m not interested in opening the window since there is so much dust and smoke (both of which I’m allergic to) outside it, due to construction in the neighborhood and someone downstairs who smokes. I imagine that laundry will be a continuous process since it could take a few days for my jeans to dry in this humidity (which is a challenge for my hair too!).
The kitchen consists of a fridge with a freezer below it (stacking). The stove top is one of those electrical ones with the black flat surface that has a couple of burners internal to it. There is a one square foot, stainless steel sink next to the stove and the washing machine is under the stove, where you would expect an oven (which I do not have). There is one cabinet for storing food and the other will have to store dish drainer and dishes since there is no counter top space to speak of. There are no drawers but there are a few hooks on the wall for potholders and/or dishtowels.
The bathroom consists of the smallest sink I have ever seen and a hand held sprayer hanging on the wall above it. There is a toilet which has very little water and pressure so I was told to use the sprayer to help things go down if they have troubles when I flush, which is not a problem since the whole bathroom is only 3 X 3 and the sprayer has a two foot long handle/tube from the sink. The door to the bathroom is glass and there is a 6 inch square drain that the water is supposed to go down after showering. It is tricky to take a shower and not get everything wet in there and to not track up the whole place afterward too. Will get a bathmat for that and maybe even a squeegee so the floor gets dry after my showers. The whole thing requires some changes in my routine since the only mirrors are in the bathroom and getting close to them after a shower won’t be possible. Using the mirror requires stooping a foot or so since it is mounted for someone much shorter than me.
I had brought along my Multi Pure water filter to make life easier and since good water is one of the things that makes me feel most prosperous. I can’t hook it up in the kitchen since the faucet has a sprayer on it. I’m hoping to find an adapter for the bathroom sink so that I can hook it up to the faucet where I wash my hands (all four adapters I have from America do not fit it) so I can use it and not have to schlep water jugs around. Not sure about drinking the tap water but I’d rather err on the safe side of that question and not end up with parasites.
There is an air conditioner and the heat is radiant floor heating like we had at Frog Song, except the floors are all marble tiles. The heat can only come on from 11 pm till 9 am so I will learn how to regulate it and imagine it will be toasty this winter. I turned on the AC last night and the place went from being hot to cold in less than 15 minutes, which I am appreciating. Hope to keep the utility bills low but the weather is extreme in both the summer and winter months, which each last a few months. I hear that winter is the only season that is not humid, which is the only thing that gives me hope that my laundry will get dry without a dryer in the winter. It is fall here now and the weather is very similar to that in the Bay Area, except much more humid which makes it seem warmer. I have had several folks ask me if I am cold since I am wearing short sleeves and they are wearing long sleeves, even sweaters, but I think I’m adjusting to the humidity.
The entryway. It’s a Korean thing. It has a motion detector light that comes on when you enter (which I triggered when I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, which I didn’t enjoy, since it stayed on well after I went back in bed and was trying to go back to sleep). This area, which is about 2 square feet and has shelves with doors for storing shoes, umbrellas, and other things you might forget as you head off for the day, is specifically for taking off and putting on shoes. Korean’s do not wear shoes in their homes or while at work. You are offered slippers whenever they expect you to remove your shoes so you do know when to do this. My feet are in pain constantly now because I need my orthodicts to be pain free in both my feet and lower back (which has been feeling twinges too) and have not had indoor shoes to wear that can hold them. I’ve been doing my Bemer several times everyday to get over this but need to try and find some shoes that I can wear indoors, especially while teaching (and standing most of the day).
Last night Reah introduced me to Matt, who will take me on the subway and show me how to get back and forth to school from my new home. He took one look at the bike I had bought and we walked over to the bike store to see if I could exchange it. They were open to it, since it meant that I would spend another $60 dollars. So now I have a bike that is much smaller and lighter (Matt says it is a beautiful bike and he is a bike aficionado). Apparently the other one was too large to bring on the subway, which I hear is very crowded. This one looks like a children’s bike, but it’s not. It folds like the other one and we will go to another store and get a headlight and a basket to add to it to make it more functional. We went out to dinner afterwards with Mr. Park and 6 other men who are all teachers at the junior high and high school levels through the program that hired me. More eating while sitting on the floor, which is challenging with my long legs and I make a mess everywhere since my mouth is so far away from the food. They are all planning a bike ride for several hundred students. I hope to participate but want to learn more about it (Matt did a bike ride across Japan, from one coast to the other so he is in great shape), mostly how long it is. Having quit my gym membership when I thought I was leaving (now more than two months ago), I have not had much exercise and feel out of shape. Will need some exercise before I can do a long bike ride. Dinner with 8 men and me-all my age except for a one or two and they pointed out to me the ones that are single (not the first time that has happened). Not sure why, maybe it is like Fiji where it is not ok for a woman to be single at my age?
Matt was clearly in pain in his lower back, and as we walked my bike back to the store, it aggravated his injury. Over dinner I offered to help him heal it. He would not come to my place without his friend joining us (he said he is “weak”, though married). These gender dynamics fascinate me and yet his assumption seemed to be that I would not have had any say in what would have transpired between us. When the three of us arrived at my place Matt ran to buy a gift, since it is Korean custom to bring a gift the first time you enter someone’s home, as an offering/omen (or something) of prosperity. His friend, who I liked very much, and whose English was better than Matt’s, told me his mane and said that I should call him Mr. (can’t recall). This shocked me so much that I forgot his name and his later comment to me really stung. When I asked him if it was a problem for him to come into my place without his friend (who was buying the gift), since he was single, he said I was old enough to be his mother so it was not an issue. He is not a young man so this got me calculating and yes, I guess I am old enough to have a son that might be 30 years old-yikes!-how did that happen?! So there you have it, women required to call men Mr…, even when the woman is old enough to be that man’s mother. Guess that means that gender trumps age (although everything in Korean language and culture requires that younger folks show respect to elders) in terms of respect and power. The implications of this in relationships between men and women have yet to be revealed but I have seen surprising things that I may write about later.
Matt returned a few minutes later with a triple box of Kleenex tissues, which came in handy even for the facte cradle we used when I did a release for his sacrum. It was great fuel for my book, listening to the body, to hear their reactions of what I was doing and which stimulated much discussion in Korean between the two men about western and eastern medicine and chi etc. Most of this was not translated. Koreans seem to not have any need to include foreigners in their discussions and carry on lengthy conversations while we wait for a change in subject or pause in conversation to be able to speak at all. In America this would be considered very rude to not translate what is being said and include the foreigner. All these differences fascinate me (and some infuriate me too!).
Now that I have an address in Korea, I can send off my voter’s registration. I faxed it last night but will need to wait till Monday to mail it as I do not know how much postage it needs from here and the Postal Service is not open on weekends. I have been stressing over this. Feeling pressure to vote in this election and concerned about not having time to get my absentee ballot from America, and send it back, by the 11/4 deadline. I told Reah about this and how important it was to me to vote in this upcoming election and how I needed an address in order to do so but she replied, “don’t push me!”
Now that I have my own place, I do not have Internet access. Apparently, this area cannot have WiFi but where I was staying before can. So I will attempt to find a place to send and receive emails and get online over the next 10 days but there are no Internet cafes nearby. Matt said he could help me with getting my Internet connection set up. I have been told that I cannot get internet until I have a green card. Reah took me to the immigration office yesterday and I thought we would get my green card then but they said that I would need to wait another week to ten days. Not so bad except that they took my passport in the process, which means I cannot do banking etc. I got upset about this. I have wanted to go to the bank for 10 days and she has been so busy that it has not happened. So there I was, without any money and learning I would need to wait another 10 days to go to the bank. Being out on my own now, I will need to be buying all my own food so being without cash mow means I go hungry. I am exasperated at the lack of communication and how much stress this lack of communication generates and how easily it could be avoided. I’m so longing for ease, inclusion, and choice and grieving that I have not had it for what seems like eternity already but has only been 10 days. Reah and I exchanged 100 dollars for 100 won until I am able to go to the bank so we worked it out but it was unduly stressful.
Staying with others has insulated me and I have had nearly zero culture shock so far. But as I ventured out on my own yesterday for the first time, I could feel it setting in. Several good cries were needed and having a place of my own allowed me to do so and let off some stress. I’m also very grateful that I brought my jackal puppet with me, who provided great companionship and empathy to me during these cries.
A walk around the neighborhood last night went a very long way towards meeting needs for freedom, choice, and adventure too, which have not been met at all until now. I found several things that I’m actually excited about, including a couple of places within a block that I’m hopeful might have internet (or at least computers I can use) and a movie theatre which has show times from 10 am till midnight on weekends (and a Popeyes fried chicken, in case I get homesick), and a farmer who sets up outside the school office which is only three blocks from here and has a wide variety of fresh fruits and veggies which I am longing for after having eaten so much cooked food the last two weeks. I hope the internet places have environments conducive to making phone calls using Skype because I need to be talking with some of you-Rachel, my empathy buddy especially. I have gone days without speaking with an adult and am needing that connection desperately (although having my first guests in my home last night helped quite a bit, the depth of connection I desire is hard to find when the other person doesn’t speak English well).
I love the way Koreans lock their doors. No keys. This means you don’t have to dig around in your purse to find keys, or worry about losing them, or keep track of them when you are out in the world, or juggle things when your hands are full trying to get in the door. The doors all have keypads with numbers so you just type in your number and it beeps to tell you if you did it right and whether the door is locked or not, both when coming and going. I found this liberating when I went out last night for the first time. It was 11:30 pm by the time I got home and the streets were full of people eating, drinking, and having a good time in general. One of the first things I noticed when I arrived here is how older women were out walking alone after 10 pm. Not a problem here. Parks full of folks shooting hoops and/or visiting on benches with each other, even late at night. My home is only half a block away from the basketball hoops and park so I hope to get a ball and play sometime.
Reah gave me a few bowls, another set of silverware, and a small glass last night that one of the other teachers left behind. Today I hope to find many other things that will turn my new place into a functional home and buy some groceries for the first time. This is the first day I can do whatever I want and I am looking forward to going with the flow and getting some of my needs met.
Much love and hugs from afar,
Terri
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
First outing
Photo on the left: Mr. Park, his son Eric, and David (the English teacher from Nova Scotia) at General Douglas MacArthur Memorial. Right: Chinatown in Incheon. Left below: Mr. Park on a hike with walking stick, the trails adorned with colorful lanterns on a beautiful October day.
Sunday the director and her family took me and David, another English teacher who is from Nova Scotia, to an island called Khwanwa. I've probably misspelled it but that is easy to do since translation of Korean to English changes the letters frequently. Anyway, we had one meal on the island, traditional Korean food, of course. Then another meal in "China town" which was supposed to be Chinese but started with kim chi (as does every meal here).
That is one thing here that seems very different than back home. Folks eat so quickly that I have barely put a dent in my hunger by the time they are done and ready to leave. I see that my style is to eat slowly and to use the time together to communicate and connect. I've learned to shut up and shovel food in so I get enough to eat. I'm sure I've lost several pounds as a result, which I'm grateful for but it is a habit I will want to unlearn once I get home, I bet.
The traffic was thick on the way back and forth (due to the fact that it was the weekend and everybody else wanted to hang out on the island as well) so I was able to get a few good shots of the country-side, outside of the city, while in traffic on the way home. There was a festival on the island so I got some shots of the musicians and dancers, all high school students.
Still haven't been able to get photos of the city but your patience will pay off later. I'm not as intimidated about the possibility of driving here as I have been in other countries I've traveled to in the last year (Malta, Italy, Switzerland), probably due to the fact that Koreans drive on the same side of the street as Americans do. I am confused by the way they drive though-making lots of U turns (and going through red lights and other surprising things). I've decided that this is to avoid left hand turns. I recall my Aunt saying that left-hand turns were hard for her when she started driving after 40 years of age. Here most streets are 10 lanes wide, if you can imagine that (my friends in Sebastopol)! Perhaps that is what lends the feeling of Paris to Incheon? The intersections are massive and expansive but they lack the statues/art of Paris.
I'm celebrating that I bought a bicycle. It is one that folds in half and I'll be able to take it on the subway with me and hope to use it to get around town, as soon as I'm able. New, it only cost me $100 bucks so that seemed like a good investment in my freedom, my health, and efficient use of my time getting back and forth to work.
Had a health check on Friday, in preparation for my visit to the immigration office to get my green or alien card. They took an x-ray of my chest, measured and weighed me, checked my eyes (and were impressed with my far-sightedness) took a few samples of blood, a urine sample, and interviewed me (which consisted of the doctor asking me if I have any health problems). Reah, the director of the school that hired me and who I am staying with, took me to the hospital for this. She was able to translate and fill out the paperwork for me. When she was asked to wait outside, while I got undressed, the x-ray techs struggled with English to communicate what was needed. But between the two of them remembering English words and me repeating back to them what they were asking, we managed.
It's been a week now and I have been to school to teach only four times so far. I seem to know most of my 43 students names though, or I'm getting closer anyway. The curriculum is fairly well laid out and fun to teach and I have four different levels of students and ages out of the six classes so I am enjoying the diversity. Especially the singing and pronunciation. But when the children speak in Korean, I am lost. I hear that I will be teaching alone two days/week and the other teacher will be teaching alone two days/week soon but don't know when that will start or how I will swing that. I hope to meet some more English teachers and pick their brains about it sooner than later.
The students are so cute. They all bow to me, to show respect, and call out "hello teacher" and "good-bye teacher". They are enthusiastic about learning and I'm amazed at how different they are from each other. I feel like a celebrity at school where children can't wait to greet me and ask me where I'm from. I believe I'm the only foreigner at this school, even though there is another English program. My program is called Sesame Street and the school is very well supplied with tools and I even have my own computer in the office that Lexy and I share.
Another night, I encounter the first food that I just could not eat. It was (not dog) sliced pigs ears. Listening to the sound it made while Eric chomped was enough for me! I have tried many new foods though...octopus (in many shapes and flavorings), Korean corn on the cob (which is more like rice than corn), kim chi made from every known vegetable (dill pickles, octopus, radishes of many types, squash, leaves, etc.), and so many things I can't tell you because I don't even know the names of them!
Looking forward to moving into my own place tomorrow, going to the immigration office (all my health tests results are back now), and learning how to ride the subway. Will let you know how it goes.
I'm having technical difficulties with the photos right now but will try again soon.
Love you and miss you all,
Terri
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